How to not be a Tool
by OhhPlease
Summary: Percy had enough of bending to other people, be it Gods or Gabe. The Sea didn't like being restrained, and neither did Percy. It was time for make a change for the better and be his own person. Different!Badass!Swearing!Percy Note: First chapter is short, will get longer. R


Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson

Warnings: **Language is going to be strong.** If you have a problem with it I suggest not reading it. I'll rate this fic at T for now, but with a possibly of it rising higher than that in the future.

Summary: Percy had enough of bending to other people, be it Gods or Gabe. The Sea didn't like being restrained, and neither did Percy. It was time for make a change for the better and be his own person. Different!Badass!Swearing!Cool!Percy

Author Note: **This change seems extremely abrupt. I would like to say that it will not stay this extreme, not for long.** Half of this more extreme reaction was because of the threat on his life, mixed with bad memories. It will calm down in the next chapter of two, however not all the way. Please let me know your thoughts of this. Not sure on the pairing yet, you can give me ideas on that too. Love and hugs! **Review!**

Chapter One: Medusa

Medusa, one mother fucking bitch. I couldn't help but feel somewhat... Infuriated by the situation that I found myself in now.

I'd accepted a quest from the gods, looking for their misplaced items for god's sake, and now I almost gotten killed my some monster who, from what I remembered, Annabeth's mother thought was a great idea to make.

Finally I said, "So we have Athena to thank for this monster?"

Annabeth flashed me an irritated look. "Your dad, actually. Don't you remember? Medusa was Poseidon's girlfriend. They decided to meet in my mother's temple. That's why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple, they became the three gorgons. That's why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to preserve you as a nice statue. She's still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him."

Really? For someone who was meant to be smart this girl was dumb as fuck. I didn't really know what was coming over me at this moment but I couldn't help but point it out, "It's my dad's fault that your mother made a monster that almost killed her own daughter? Countless other beings then let the monster run around still now to the day. Yes, that's my father's fault, not your mother's jealousy problems. Maybe next time I should take someone to fuck up toward her little temple see how she likes that."

I almost wanted to punch her, I was sick and tired of everyone treating me like an idiot, or making me be nice to people I didn't want to be anywhere near nice to.

Gabe...

Abused me, and my mother made me stay near him, made me be nice to him. I was sick of it now, so sick. It was time for an attitude, far over do.

Annabeth straightened. In a bad imitation of my voice, she said: "'It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?'"

It was almost amusing that the woman though she was making a cutting remark. So what if I thought that the woman wasn't a danger, Annabeth certainly didn't seem to go against the idea too much at first. Nothing close to it. She was trying to blame the fact that we almost got killed by the monster on me, because I didn't know right off the back that something was wrong, "News flash brain bitch, you didn't know either, not at first."

She seemed so mad that she turned red, unable to form words.

"Hey!" Grover interrupted. "You two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs don't even get migraines. What are we going to do with the head?"

Grover seemed somewhat put out by my remarks, was he really that surprised? I'd been in how many different schools; did he think that I did nothing to get kicked out of them? That I didn't have some sort of attitude when people managed to piss me off? Didn't I say I was going to kill that Nancy character because she was throwing some food at Grover? Man that half barnyard animal was dense.

My eyes got directed toward something, blame it on the ADHD, but I ended up staring at it. One little snake was hanging out of a hole in the plastic. The words printed on the side of the bag said: WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS!

What had Medusa said?

_Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue._

I got up. "I'll be back."

"Percy," Annabeth called after me. "What are you-?"

I searched the back of the warehouse until I found Medusa's office. Her account book showed her six most recent sales, all shipments to the Underworld to decorate Hades and Persephone's garden.

Cute, not at all morbid as fuck.

According to one freight bill, the Underworld's billing address was DOA Recording Studios, West Hollywood, California. I folded up the bill and stuffed it in my pocket, making a note that I should get some new clothing soon. Something with less… Happy colours, if I was going to change I wasn't going to be doing it in halves.

In the cash register I found twenty dollars, a few golden drachmas, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express, each with a little leather bag attached for coins. I rummaged around the rest of the office until I found the right-size box and some paper.

I went back to the picnic table, packed up Medusa's head, and filled out a delivery slip, not even realizing that I was doing so in Greek, although thankful for it. Made for no embarrassing spelling mistakes because of dyslexia:

_The Gods_

_Mount Olympus_

_600th Floor,_

_Empire State Building_

_New York, NY_

_With best wishes, this bitch turned me off woman for years. Bad taste Dad, bad taste._

_PERCY JACKSON_

Next I took out some paper and got to writing letters, really just three. One to my father, one to Athena, and one to my dear uncle. Why? Because I wanted to piss at least two of them off extremely. I was actually going to be wondering forever what their reaction to this was. Maybe if Dad isn't too mad at me for it I could ask him.

_Dear Uncle,_

_Once I find your little toy don't leave it around._

_Love and hugs,_

_Percy Jackson_

_Your favourite Nephew_

The next one was to Athena; it would be much more strongly worded. The woman reminded me far too much of Gabe in her actions with Medusa for me to even be close to calming down about that yet. Perhaps I was hyper-relating too much and would regret this later… Nah, whatever I said would be true, just harshly worded. With that in mind I got to writing that later.

_Dear Older Brain Bitch,_

_I find it amusing that you turned that Medusa woman into something that goes around now and attempts to kill your own children. I honestly do. I hope that you enjoy the son of your enemy cleaning up your mess. I also hope that someday I can bring one of my own love interests over to your temple and fuck them against thr ground. What will you do? Endanger your own children again. Congrats, for one of the supposed smartest people around you are quick to anger and prone to revenge without thinking about the consequences._

_You remind me of my Step-Father, an abusive son of a bitch that didn't give a shit about me or my mother. Doing things that would only harm us in the end. I can't express enough how much you are my least favourite god for your idiocy._

_As far as Medusa I'm going to consider her attempt to kill me as if it came from you. In the future should you ever need me, and I've no doubt you are scoffing at the very thought right now, but if you ever do, I'm not going to be at your service. Don't bother asking, because the only favour I'm doing you is maybe helping your daughter service the treats to her in this quest, hopefully no more of them from you._

_Peace out Bitch_

_Percy Mother-Fucking Jackson_

I honestly had no clue what was going on with me right now, but I certainly didn't mind it. Seemed like a good enough change, I simply wasn't going to allow others to push me around.

That's not a bad thing, right?

Sea doesn't like to be restrained.

_Dear Father,_

_Really though, you have bad taste in woman. You might have actually turned me gay. Think Apollo would be into it?_

_Just kidding... Kind of. I mean from what I've heard he's hot, in a total not just being the Sun God way._

_Sending you best wishes, and heads of thine love interests_

_Your Son,_

_Percy Jackson_

That was far more familiar then the other letters. Although I didn't really know my father, I could feel a connection to him, I knew that he looked after me the best that he could. He must have visited me as a child as well, otherwise I wouldn't know what he looked like, and I did know.

The other Gods didn't really visit their children, I'd learned that much. It meant that my father bent the rules to protect me in some way, and I respected that. Maybe I hadn't changed too much quite yet after all.

A though struck me, why didn't the kids attempt to send mail through Hermes to their godly parent? Was that against the rules?

Oh well, who cared. I didn't care; after all I just basically told them all to fuck off. Breaking a few rules was nothing compared to telling Gods were to shove it.

"They're not going to like that," Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent."

Placing the letters into the box as well, I poured some golden drachmas in the pouch. As soon as I closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with a pop!

"I am impertinent," I said.

I looked at Annabeth, daring her to criticize, the girl just might get punt kicked with my current mood.

She didn't. She seemed resigned to the fact that I had a major talent for ticking off the gods, something that I couldn't help but worry might come back to bite me in the ass. "Come on," she muttered. "We need a new plan."

Maybe Brain Bitch, but you aren't going to be the one coming up with all of it. I won't allow you to put aside my input anymore. Daughter of a Fool.

End of Chapter One:

Review Responses:

Most people are after a god reaction in the reviews, so that's what you are going to be getting next chapter! Unfortunately somethings have come up (I know, damn this person has a social life?! Must have just been what went through your head) so the next chapter of this story will be out 2/2/14 if all goes to plan. Although some random stories might come out that I already have written, just to see what people like and what I might continue to write. This story is of course a definite. I really like it and I will be writing it whenever I can.

**Review and love up the story**, give me suggestions and such I promise I will listen. **Love and hugs!**


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